My dearest Grumpy,
Please, please just back off!! I adore you, but honestly I can not handle your whiney, needy, grabby irritating constant-ness. you are driving me crazy. I think it's sweet that you "like me". I thought it was very cute and adorable when this was the endearment you offered to me. Until you said it every hour on the hour for three straight days. Now I just want to slap you!
I think it's lovely that you want to shower me with attention and affection, but it is possible for us to spend time together without you grabbing hold of bits of me. That is not intimacy nor is it foreplay. I do not feel loved by your yanking my arms or legs out of their sockets in your attempts at cuddling. Legs only bend 1 way! My knees do not twist sideways! I do not need to be constantly entwined around you - it makes it very uncomfortable to watch tv.
It makes me very happy that you want to share your thoughts with me. However, every conversation does not need to be a D'n'M. I like to talk about these real issues with you. This is a good thing, both for you as an individual to get things off your chest, and for us as a couple so we become closer and we stay on the same page. I just don't want that to be all we ever do. Can we please just hang out and talk about how stupid the Simpson's are or who your favourite Friends character is.
I love you, i do. I'd just like to have you stop smothering me for a few hours. Pretty pretty please!