Monday, 12 November 2012

You are the noisiest sleeper in the world

Did you know that sleeping is a peaceful activity?

It's supposed to be quiet and restful. I don't know how you manage it, but you sleep noisily.  Until I met you, I didn't realise this was possible. How can sleep involve this much snuffling and snorting and snoring?? And rolling over!! You rearrange the bed sheets ever three minutes! It's ridiculous.

 I feel horrible when I have to confess that I sleep better when you're not here*, and it's for two reasons. The first is that you steal the sheets. You're a their, plain and simple and when I have no sheets, I get cold and when I am cold I make up. But the second reason is that you're loud. You have a snore that I can hear from another room.

And you know how other people, you give them a gentle shake on the shoulder or whisper to them and they snuffle and stop... Not you! Oh no. You keep snoring until I shove you in the side or pinch your nose so you can't breathe (not like a kinky torture thing, I promise this is not abuse, it's for like two seconds because them the airflow is momentarily intterruped and you startle... This is not making it sound better...). 

I am a horrible person. I do love having you here and I should just put king size sheets on our queen size bed and buy some nose-strip-sleep-quiet things and then I'll have nothing to complain about!!
Love you always,
E xx

*remember the dog.

1 comment:

  1. Catching up on some of your posts, Erin, and this one made me laugh. Mostly because I sleep better when my husband isn't here too. I also sleep on more of the bed, and don't have that feeling of being tipped towards him as the mattress we have is crap and his weight pulls me down into the void. (He isn't THAT big but you know what I mean.) I sleep through the night, not intermittently and I like sleeping through the night!